9 Biggest Challenges With Getting A Divorce
No divorce is easy. It doesn’t matter if the couples agree to every single aspect of the settlements and never speak again. There are moments when they have to think about what happened, what could have been, they have to make new adjustments including being alone early on.
That may seem like an odd thing to say with so many marriages ending. However, the fact is that many marriages, unhappy and even unhealthy ones, stay intact because of fear. Either one person is afraid to leave because of physical harm or because of what it may do to their children. There can also be fear based on finances and living situation.
Biggest Challenges With Getting A Divorce
When you have to come to the point of no return and realize that you need to get a divorce, here are the things you need to consider. First, start with getting an attorney. You need a legal professional watching over you moving forward to ensure you get what you’re entitled to from years of marriage. Here’s the roadmap you need to be prepared for when you get divorced:
- Children: All divorce conversations have to start with children, if you have any. This is going to impact them the most, especially if you are divorcing their other biological parent. Their lives are going to change and you need to help them prepare for that, assure them it’s for the best and show them how their lives are still going to be similar as well.
- Separate lives: How much separation do you want from your ex? Some people not only change where they live, but they get new doctors, dentists, gyms and more because they do not want to run into the person at all.
- Determining who gets what: This is where the lawyers can be a big help, especially in the communication of who gets what. You can make a list of what you want and they can do the same. What’s disputed can be settled legally.
- Money and costs: Divorce is not cheap but it also covers a lot of financial aspects including future cost of living. Spousal and child support will have to be discussed and you also want to make sure that you are discussing retirement benefits as well.
- Telling friends and family: A very challenging aspect of divorce is that you have to talk about it with your friends and family. Obviously, some people will get a face to face conversation while some get a text message. Try to be subtle and simple in your comments, especially when it comes to what happened.
- Building a new life: When you start to build a new life consider doing things you have an interest in. Finding motivation to do things will be hard enough, especially with potentially having extra work on your plate if you are taking care of your kids alone now. Consider finding things to do that you enjoy that also can fit into your schedule.
- Managing work: Whether you stay at your current job or start a new one, work is going to be greatly impacted by all these changes. You’re going to have to do everything without messing with work too much and that can be tricky. Be sure to have a plan in place that allows you to accomplish what you need to without it interfering with work. Take it one day at a time and eventually you will get into a rhythm.
- Relocating: If the divorce leads to you relocating that can be a lot of stress, especially with moving to an area you are not familiar with. Whether you move a block over or to the other side of the country doesn’t matter, what matters is that you move to a place where you can get a fresh start and that you are happy with. Focus on what you want and what’s best for you.
- Meeting new people: This can be the most difficult aspect of starting your life over, but meeting new people is important and not just in a romantic setting. Yes, you probably have some amazing friends and family who are very supportive. However, meeting new friends to spend time with can have an added benefit in that you have a reminder of a new life and a fresh start.
Therapy is always a great option if you have questions or feel anxious about making the decision on whether or not to get divorced. You need to review your reasons for getting divorced more than look at your options of how you would live beyond your spouse. If your marriage is unhappy and even unhealthy, not knowing what else is out there is not enough to stay put.