8 Divorce Mistakes To Avoid
Divorce is not an easy experience. It’s something that people have a great deal of difficulty with as major changes are made to their lives. For some, it’s sudden, for others, it’s been a long process. Divorce is an emotional process and when decisions are made with emotions, they can often be wrong. That’s why it’s important to focus on what you need to do and what is best for your family.
There are common mistakes that are made when people get a divorce. One of the most common is that they are too slow in speaking with an attorney. You do not need to hire an attorney in order to get legal guidance. A free consultation will tell you more than enough about your situation and what your legal options are.
Mistakes are often made when we are not paying attention, perhaps because we are thinking about something like a divorce. Staying focused is difficult but sometimes we make the mistake of trying to stay too focused. These are some common and important mistakes to try and avoid.
- Demand allegiance: Your family and friends have to eventually get over this separation and its impact on them, which does exist, and determine how their lives will transition with you and your former partner. This is not a time you demand people who have been in your life for years to be allegiant to you.
- Try to win every battle: Your former partner is emotional as well and not everything needs to be a victory for you. Divorce without bitterness means a far easier transition for you and everyone else. Be willing to compromise.
- Emotion over convenience: Part of working with a former partner means that you have to know when to overlook convenience. Your former partner and you have to decide where your child goes to school. There are more affordable schools close to you, but the child is with you on weekends and with the mother during the week. This situation, the better schools are also a better choice because they are closer to where your child will spend most of their time. You are paying more and driving more, but if it’s better for your child, what win are you trying to get?
- Regular communication: A mistake to avoid is knowing when and why to communicate. Once you have decided to get a divorce, communication is best kept texting messages, short and simple. If you need to talk on the phone about scheduling or something, try to do it when both of you are alone and not distracted or rushed, thus adding stress to the conversation. Try to minimize communication as much as possible. It seems rough but it often becomes best overtime.
- Financial ignorance: This can be a time when you focus primarily on fixing things in your life such as your living situation. If you have to find a new place to live because of the breakup, it’s possible that you will overlook expenses, especially long-term. That’s why it’s important to focus on being financially smart.
- Emotional ignorance: Other people are impacted by this breakup as well. It does not just impact you, and yes, this is your separation, but children, friends and family are going to be impacted as well.
- Your job probably doesn’t care: Jobs will be understanding and helpful to a point. You have to keep that in mind and remember that you still have responsibilities to maintain and that is even more important if you have children.
- Avoiding guidance: Whether it’s an attorney or a therapist, you need to have guidance throughout this divorce. Work with people who understand your situation, who know what guidance you need and can give you a friendly ear as well. There’s no such thing as an emotionless divorce.
Emotion can lead to mistakes when it comes to divorce. That’s why you need to rely on trusted help for emotional, financial, legal and other types of support as you need it. This will be a process and the right people will be there for you throughout.