Are you happy and in love? That’s great and love is something we all look for. Unfortunately, love also takes time to build because it requires trust and trust cannot be made in a day. You have to be patient and you have to work on your relationship. It requires time and compromise, understanding that what you want is not always going to be the result. If you want your relationship to work, you need to be aware of your partner’s wants and needs.
You also have to be aware of how to best communicate with each other. Sometimes communication is better short and sweet like in texts. Sometimes phone calls are the best way to go. Each of you has your own preference but knowing you can talk to your partner at any time, whenever you need them is part of why we trust them so much.
Top Marriage Counselor Tips For New Couples
Marriage counselors feel that if newer couples knew some of the things to avoid or challenges that they are going to go through early on, it would not only help them out, but strengthen their relationship for the long haul. Here are some top tips that you should know:
- Don’t punish communication: Your partner is going to reach out to you a lot, that includes sometimes when you do not feel like talking to them or anyone. Do not punish them for trying to be social, especially with you. It can be difficult to know what to say all the time and if they are trying to be talkative and are picking the wrong spots or topics, do not get angry with them.
- Space is not bad: Taking a night off once a week to see friends is not terrible. Taking a weekend once every couple of months to go to a ballgame or go fishing with your friends is not terrible. Space is good but it also is important that you know when there’s too much space and not enough of a real commitment.
- Remember every day will not be a fairytale: Early on, dating is like a fairytale. Unfortunately, it cannot last, and your partner will struggle to make it last each day. Give them a break when the days aren’t great, especially for them.
- Find common interests: There should be things you two like to do together. Shows you like to watch, places you like to check out together and so forth. Make interests and hobbies that are appealing to both of you.
- Be respectful of each other’s interests: Your boyfriend loves hockey, and you could care less about it. That’s fine but just as he’s not making you watch the games with him, be respectful of the fact that he wants to watch the game tonight. Perhaps he will get the big television, and you can watch something in your bedroom?
- Your family is not their responsibility: Your family is your support system which is great. Whether they are welcoming to your new love or not is nothing you can control. What you need to control is their impact and influence on your new relationship. Family events, parties, anniversaries and other get-togethers are not the responsibility of a new partner and should not be their obligation. While you may love the idea of bringing your new date with you, they may dread it and that’s ok.
- Talk about money: There’s an idea that couples should keep their money to themselves and not talk about it. This often becomes a mistake. For example, one partner wants to do more things or spend more money and doesn’t realize the financial struggle it will create. The other partner who is more aware of the money often becomes frustrated and critical because of this. Being honest and open about money early is important and can make a big difference.
- Try with their friends: Your partner has friends, some you will like, some you won’t. However, you cannot try to be the reason their friends stay or go. You need to be friendly and understand that these people are important to your partner and therefore need to be important to you as well.
- Work is not your relationship: Your job is not going to be more important than your relationship and if your partner feels that it is, you should not expect them to stick around much longer. They need to know that your job is important but not your primary focus.
- Be respectful of their job: At the same time, you need to make sure that you are respectful of their job as they need to be respectful of yours. No, you cannot skip work today to go shopping or to a party. If they cannot appreciate that then they are not right for you.
- Keep dating each other: One mistake couple frequently make when they get serious is that they stop going out on actual dates. Go out to dinner, go to the movies, go for a walk on the beach. Keep it feeling fresh and new as long as you can.
- Forgive by morning: You are going to go to bed annoyed or even angry with your partner some nights. Forgive them by morning or be prepared to end things because holding onto anger in a relationship doesn’t do anyone any good.
- Cook: Once a week, or more, cook for them. Doesn’t matter if you are a bad cook. Find one dish you can make in the microwave or something you can make quick and make it for them. Cooking for someone means so much because it’s not just about showing you care but it shows you want them to be happy.
- Clean: If you are not already doing so, pick them up after yourself and keep their place clean. You do not have to walk around with a vacuum cleaner every day, but you need to make sure that you are being respectful of their space.
- Double check on them: Haven’t texted them in a couple of hours? Now’s a great time to send a random heart or funny inside joke. People want to feel loved and important. If you can do that with a text every now and then why not?
- Don’t expect more each day: Last night your partner took you to an amazing dinner and then you went to the movies and had ice cream after. Tonight, you’re eating hot dogs on the couch watching television. One great night does not have to be topped the next day.
- Make birthdays and anniversaries mean something: Birthdays especially are an opportunity to make your partner feel important, loved and special. Take advantage of them because they mean so much to your partner.
We have to remember that people are different, and personalities are different. However, when it comes to relationships, showing respect and consideration are usually the best ways to go. The thinking is if that doesn’t work, it’s because the other person was not the right fit and you’re better off without them.