Getting married is supposed to be an exciting and wonderful time in your life. It’s the start of a new life for you and your partner and it deserves to be enjoyed and celebrated. Unfortunately, there are far too many horror stories that have been told about marriages where one partner was not honest and even had unfavorable intentions.
Even if there are no bad intentions to begin with, people change and as your marriage moves forward, you may realize this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The point is that whether you’ve really found the love of your life right now or not cannot be certain but right now what you can do is protect yourself from a legal standpoint before you get married.
Protecting Yourself Before Marriage
Any lawyer with experience in divorce, prenups and more will tell you that the smartest people are the ones that protect themselves before getting married. You can still love someone without having to give them complete access to your life including your finances. Here are some steps you may want to take before the big day.
- Prenuptial agreement: The most common and popular step to take. This agreement, which can be different for everyone, generally focuses on ensuring that everyone keeps what they brought into the marriage. That means if you own a house before you get married, your spouse cannot request the home or money for it if you get divorced.
- Credit check: Give your credit a check and while you are at it, check theirs as well. You want to see if there is anything unusual and also it’s important to continue these checks after you are married.
- Financial review: What will you as a married couple have when it comes to finances? What is available to you and what is not? What can you utilize, what will be left for retirement and what can be changed or improved?
- Create a joint account, but keep your own: Right now you have your own bank accounts. Keep them, but create a joint bank account for you and your partner. This is where you will deposit most of your funds and pay most of your bills. However, it’s always good to have your own account as well.
- Separate credit cards: Know what you are spending and keep track of what they are spending as well, but not under the same account. You want to have your own financial freedom and make sure that no one, not even your spouse, can change anything.
- Set up an emergency fund: One of those bank accounts that are just in your name needs to have some money in it for whatever reason. Consider it an emergency fund and try to add at least $100 a month to it.
- Review state laws with your attorney: Every state has different laws about marriage, divorce and annulments. Review those laws with your attorney.
- Have your own attorney: If your spouse has an attorney they prefer working with that’s fine. However, get everything you have to sign reviewed by your own attorney first.
- Discuss tax benefits with your accountant: Getting married will open doors to huge savings with taxes and other areas of your finances. Go over the pros and cons with your accountant.
- Start therapy: It’s never a bad idea to talk to someone about your problems and thoughts. The problem with telling family and friends any doubts you have about your partner or any struggles you two are having is that they can make things a bigger deal than they can. Talk to a therapist who can let you know when you are swaying out of your lane and when things need an adjustment.
- Move certain properties to your parents name: If you own any significant investments, have properties or anything else that is in your name and you want to completely protect it, transfer it to your parents.
- Do not leave your job before you are married: If your partner is telling you that you can quit your job before you are married perhaps don’t do that. Make sure they have made the commitment before you leave your job.
- Establish what bills are your responsibility: If you are still working after you are married that’s fine and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially if you both need to help cover the bills. Establish what bills are going to be paid by you. Yes, you may just be throwing money into an account and paying it from there, but establishing the responsibility early on ensures one person isn’t carrying more than their fair share.
- Do not allow them to move in or vice versa before marriage: It’s best to not move in together until you are married, especially from a legal standpoint.
- Keep your family’s money to yourself: If you are due to inherit land or money, keep it to yourself. Do not tell your boyfriend or future whatever money you may inherit or how much your family has.
- Paperless reporting: Move all your bank and retirement accounts to paperless mode. You can review your accounts online and you do not want documents laying around that show your finances.
- Do a background check: A background check may seem like a bit much but it may be a wise request.
- Protect yourself, your family and your premarital assets before getting married.